Rocked my Little World: What a difference a year makes

It was today only a year ago I first held my S in my arms, the first time we kissed. I remember it as it were yesterday. Prior to my arrival we had it on the same count down app I was giving a fb count down. Then when it came I was sooooooooo nervous, anxious, scared, excited, thrilled and stressed. Now I'm one hell of a self doubter even thought we had been talking texting and video chatting for months and we were in love I thought what if.......... ( list everything negative you can think of here and then some ) my flight been delayed 4 hours really wasn't helping matters. All those fears went away in the blink of an eye When we saw each other. S later told me when I called her from Atlanta ( 2 hrs away ) she drove to the airport then ( a 15-25 min drive ) just so she wasn't late and didn't miss me at the gate.

I can recall her smile as we saw each other for the first time in the physical flesh, I remember exactly what she was wearing. Black skinny jeans Channel heels and one of my shirts (it looked a damn sight better on s than it did me) but S always looked absolutely stunning in everything, anything and nothing. Her beautiful green eyes lite up and then filled up as I dropped my carry on and wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. Damn I was in heaven, that instant moment changed my life forever. You'd think our first words would be hi, hello or something like that but no, our first words were"Don't let Go" and I haven't. We had to collect my luggage still, we walked holding hand ( I didn't want to let het out my reach ) it was there S melted my heart once again. I knew she loved me but she always said she wanted to look me in the eyes the first time she said it. I remember standing there just looking at her taking in her beauty, SH held my hands stood in her tippy toes, kissed me and said "I love you Steven" with that my eyes filled up and I squeezed her so tight I thought she was gonna pop. I couldn't speak so I just whispered " I love u so much S my darling". If the world need right there and then I would have gone out the happiest I had ever been.

S was my friend, my lover, my confidont, My goddess and MY ONE she is also now My forever and always Angel.
It might sound strange coming from a guy but ladies please please PLEASE get those mamos done because this pain of loss is like no other